Her notepad poems:
Watching Death Poem

Watching death

Seeing someone die, right before your eyes
Moment of her death, I was by her side
When the heart beat slows, soon will be the end

Do they go away, to a better place
Wish I could believe, something more exists
Heart beat fades away, not long to the end

Part of me upset, at the loss of her
Yes she was my Mum, not that we were close
Just an empty shell, wishing for the end

Did not look in pain, just looked fast asleep
Listen to the sound, hear the final beep
Nothing but machines, almost at the end

You should never see, you should never know
Looking into death, watching someone go
Then the heart beats gone, know that is the end
Dean Thorpe
Southend pier, the place we scattered my mums ashes

This is Southend pier, the place we scattered my Mum's ashes back in 2018. Photo by Dean Thorpe

About the poem

This poem IS based on something I actually went through, so please feel free to send me comments on the poem, but do try to keep them constructive.

My Mums death came as a big shock, we went to see her on Saturday and she was looking tired and said she was not up to looking after Joanne (She looked after our daughter once a month) that day, I admit that we thought it was probably just another excuse to not do it. On the Tuesday she was rushed into hospital, we went to see her, but she was basically unconscious, but still breathing on her own. Each time we saw her there were more and more machines, supporting her, controlling her, but it felt like she was no longer there. On the Friday I got the call I knew would be coming soon and rushed to the hospital as fast as I could. The Doctors and Nurses were very nice, sat me down and explained that they had done everything they could, but that my Mum would not last much longer. They led me in to sit with her and I sat there all alone holding her hand. I did not need to be a doctor to know that the machines were saying the same as the Doctors, her pulse etc. was so low that I knew it was almost time, then the beeping stopped and she was gone.

I had not always been close to my Mum, we had had our differences, she had done things and made choices that I did not agree with, sometimes I loved her, sometimes I hated her, but she was still my Mum. Towards the end we had been getting closer and working out our differences. Watching her die is the most traumatic thing I have been through and I have been through a lot, but deep down I am pleased that I was there.

I have added some of my Mums poems to this site, she loved people reading them:

My Mums poems


Please select a page:
  1. Her notepad poems: Introduction
  2. Her notepad poems: Being free to be me
  3. Her notepad poems: Big metal box
  4. Her notepad poems: Blue lights in the mirror
  5. Her notepad poems: Christmas thoughts
  6. Her notepad poems: Cold and grey in the UK
  7. Her notepad poems: Colours of my life
  8. Her notepad poems: Computers are a pain
  9. Her notepad poems: Concept of happiness
  10. Her notepad poems: Crowds all around me
  11. Her notepad poems: Derailed train of thought
  12. Her notepad poems: Eh Ju Kay Shon
  13. Her notepad poems: Evil people around us
  14. Her notepad poems: Exploring the woods
  15. Her notepad poems: Feel the pain
  16. Her notepad poems: Feeling alone
  17. Her notepad poems: First true love
  18. Her notepad poems: Fluffy little tails
  19. Her notepad poems: Fluidity / genderfluid
  20. Her notepad poems: Free school parking
  21. Her notepad poems: Frozen moment in time
  22. Her notepad poems: Gay Pride
  23. Her notepad poems: Going to Disneyland Paris
  24. Her notepad poems: Hand beside me
  25. Her notepad poems: I hate you
  26. Her notepad poems: Illusion of life
  27. Her notepad poems: Just another dumb animal
  28. Her notepad poems: Just be
  29. Her notepad poems: Life of a photographer
  30. Her notepad poems: Life of a snowflake
  31. Her notepad poems: Light from another world
  32. Her notepad poems: Lurking in the darkness
  33. Her notepad poems: Maybe I am going mad
  34. Her notepad poems: Mindfulness
  35. Her notepad poems: Normality
  36. Her notepad poems: Not going mad this Christmas
  37. Her notepad poems: Opening my mind
  38. Her notepad poems: Out there
  39. Her notepad poems: Passion or prayer
  40. Her notepad poems: Perfect man
  41. Her notepad poems: Psyonic dreams
  42. Her notepad poems: Raindrops on the window
  43. Her notepad poems: Red is the colour of blood
  44. Her notepad poems: Roller coaster rider
  45. Her notepad poems: Second by second
  46. Her notepad poems: Side effect of Doctors
  47. Her notepad poems: Silence closes in
  48. Her notepad poems: Sometimes
  49. Her notepad poems: Some people
  50. Her notepad poems: Storm
  51. Her notepad poems: Strange creatures
  52. Her notepad poems: Stranger beside me
  53. Her notepad poems: Sugar excess
  54. Her notepad poems: Tick and the tock
  55. Her notepad poems: Time flies by
  56. Her notepad poems: Trapped in the Summer
  57. Her notepad poems: Trust in terror media
  58. Her notepad poems: Watching death poem
  59. Her notepad poems: Westwood House
  60. Her notepad poems: When I grow up
  61. Her notepad poems: When munchies attack
  62. Her notepad poems: Why I go to Pride
  63. Her notepad poems: Why me
  64. Her notepad poems: You are my reason